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Here is the problem I’ve had…we go out once (maybe twice) and have a good time. (And yes, this has happened at least three times recently.) I understand liking me and wanting to spend time with me, and hoping that things will go further.What I don’t understand is why they get so obsessive. You need to read this week’s Love Essentially, in which I tell 4 of my personal dating stories. The journey included a broken heart (multiple times), along with a roller-coaster ride of frustration, excitement, shock, disappointment and a weariness that made me want to give up and accept the fact that meeting the one just wasn’t in the cards for me.

Maybe you never get excited and let down your guard. It would be a shame if a man distanced himself from you precisely BECAUSE you said you liked him. You keep finding guys who are ready to take the plunge, you dazzle them on a date or two, and you listen to them start gabbing about rings and honeymoons. When someone makes himself too accessible, too willing to jump into a relationship, we question him. At the end of the night, she said to me, “I’m glad to have you in my life”.They were controlling and basically losers in past relationships and life in general. My assessment was that they wanted a healthy normal person to validate their craziness.I knew tho that I would soon end up crazy too if I stayed. The good news is that once you honestly assess what might be holding you back, you can take action to knock down your own internal barriers to love. These sorts of situations take tremendous strength to heal from, but it is possible with time and support.Your problem is that regardless of when one of these situations might have happened, it remains in the forefront of your life, contributing to how you feel about yourself, how you approach dating and how you perceive relationships.

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