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It took a while to get here since nobody on The OC or One Tree Hill looked like me when I was growing up, but I am finally happy with the way that I look.

My issue with being an Asian woman and trying to date has less to do with my perception of myself, and everything to do with the way I am treated and perceived by men, specifically non-Asian men.

Originally published on Persephone and cross-posted here with their permission.

I was IMing with a friend recently about a guy she has an unrequited crush on.

They actively seek out Asian women to satisfy their romantic and sexual desires.

I can usually tell almost immediately if I’m dealing with someone who has this fetish for Asian women.

Many Asian men have unhelpful expectations of meeting either “mother figures” or “beauties,” Lee said.

I was fresh out of high school, had a lot of self esteem issues, and was really excited that anyone would even be interested in me at all.

One: They are convinced that Asian women would rather go out with white men. Are men with Asian ethnic origins justified in feeling anxious these racial preferences are actually operating in North American dating?

Ronald Lee, founder of a relationship service for Asian men in Metro Vancouver, believes Chinese, Japanese, Korean and other men with East Asian roots who make these complaints are looking for excuses to avoid facing their social awkwardness.“I think men who say those things are bitter,” says Lee, 33, who on Wednesday night organized the founding meeting of the Asian Men’s Social Empowerment group, designed to help Asian men support each other in building relationships with women. (2015)Victoria and Kelowna real surprises for mixed unions (2014) RELATED: SURPRISING STUDY: Ethnicities that whites and Asians like to date In his research, Columbia University economist Ray Fisman did not find any evidence that white men prefer to date East Asian women.

Many Asian men veer back and forth between relational extremes, Lee said.

On one hand, many shyly fear they’re seen as “geeks.” On the other, they jump in to the dating scene with “false bravado” and unrealistic fantasies.

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